Snowpocalypse: April Version

The internet is alive…

With the sound of weather.

There’s a winter storm watch, you see.  In April.  That month that usually gets a flurry or two – or at least did before this whole damned climate change thing crept in.

It’s the headline story on several news sites.  It is the talk of the social media scene.

On Twitter: So much kvetching, so little space.

On Facebook:  It’s what everyone’s parent is talking about.

And on Google+?

Wait.  Is there still a Google+?

It seems the Peterborough world has reached consensus on two significant issues:

1.  It’s going to snow.

2.  That sucks.

Actually, the P-Dot has almost reached consensus on these issues.

I’m bucking the trend you see.

I’ve got a whole different attitude.

I say bring it.

Snow? Ice pellets? Plague of frogs?  Let ’em fall.  Let the heavens pour down with its mixed bag of messy.  Let the ground turn white and the schools turn the kids away.  Bring on the snowpocalypse.

Think about it.  How is it really going to affect you?  How much time were you really planning on spending outside?

If it weren’t snowing, it would still be doing that whole cold, rainy thing.  It is, you know, April.

You remember April, right?  That month when it’s too muddy to go on trails, too soaked to play on the grass, too cold to consider gardening.  If there is one month that people tend to really stay inside, it is probably April.

At least in February you can make a snowman or go for a ski.


Why not the snowpocalypse?

Think about it:

It gives us something to talk about.  Our airwaves and water coolers are abuzz with excitement.  People are jacked up.  Excited.

They’re more excited, even, than for the once-in-a-decade Maple Leaf playoff dash. Definitely more excited than for the Blue Jays.  Really, can you ever trust a knuckleballer? And that’s what this snowfall represents: a seasonal knuckleball.

It gives us something to write about on our Twitter feeds and Facebook pages.  Because nothing, and I mean nothing, gets the internet worked up quite like a bit of weather.  Mention a blizzard and it’s like someone unplugged the kitten machine.

Conversation aside, it gives us something to look at.  Other than grey and greyness, I mean.  April, I’m sorry to say, is one butt-ugly month.  Too early for much in the way of new growth and flowers, April instead features dog turds and garbage.  It showcases the crap-piles that winter hid.  It’s Lindsay Lohan after a bender.  It’s a mess.

Plus, we’re supposed to be Canadians, dammit. We’re born and bred for this weather.  And we’re getting soft.

When people start whining about winter in January, you know that climate change has turned us into a nation of winter wimps.  We need the odd April snowstorm to remind us what we’re really all about.

We’re a nation formed by voyageurs and lumberjacks.   We are a country made up of people who made hard voyages from hard lives in hard countries.

And we’re whining because of a bit of snow?

Not me.  Not on my watch.

Suck it up, Peterborough.  We’re only talking a few flurries, here.  We’re only talking about a bit of precipitation.

And remember, it’s not like you’re going to have to shovel the stuff.

It’ll all be melted by Friday.  Forgotten, like so many winters before.

So, bring it, I say.  Bring it good.



Edit: Thursday, Aprill 11, 7:36.

The forecast has been changed to “Ice pellets mixed with freezing rain beginning this morning. Ice pellet amount 2 cm.”

I officially change my opinion on the matter: Screw you, Snowpocalypse…  Bring on the Ice Storm!